Grieving the loved ones I have lost

Lovely Mai

My dad died last night. I just got the news from my sister an hour ago. I feel terrible. If you must know, he died of a heart attack. So tomorrow, I head back to Japan to get ready for the funeral. Akio and Bess are coming too.

The news hit me like a ton of bricks. My dad, the son of a World War II vet, who was in every way like my grandfather, right down to the fighting spirit, died at the age of 66. He was never in the best shape (the old man loved his McDonalds), but still, I find the heart attack somewhat surprising.

My dad gave my family so much. We never had a whole lot of money, but thanks to his Sake business, we had enough to live decently. It's thanks to him that I even live in America. We had a great household, and our family was always lively.

I don't know how my mother is going to keep on going. My sisters earn enough to keep the family going monetarily, but it's my mother's mental state I'm worried about, you know? I mean, she's pretty torn up. So I'm going to do my best to cheer her up, or at least make her feel a little better.

Anyway, I guess it goes without saying that Akio, Bess, and I won't be available for a while. If you have anything encouraging to say, I'd like you to bring those comments foward now.

Alec · Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 5:27 am Post subject:

I felt really bad when my grandmother died. She and I had always been very close.

Even though I didn't cry, I was falling to pieces inside. But then I decided to celebrate her life instead of dwell on her death, and the outlook became a little brighter. She had helped many people, and brought countless smiles to countless faces, and that eased the pain a great deal.

I'm sure your father would not want you to dwell on such evil news. Celebrate his life and the good he has done, and know that he was a honorable man to the moment he died; and you won't feel so sad.

If you need a shoulder to cry on though, I'll be there.
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Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it..Friends are like balloons: once you let them go, you can't get them back.

Sands of Arrakis · Demi-God Joined: 18 Jun 2007 Posts: 247

Oh my God. I feel so bad for you!

Losing a parent must be tough. Hang in there, okay?
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"I must not fear. Fear is the Mind Killer. I will face my fear and let it pass through me, and when it is gone, only I will remain."

-The Litany Against Fear

Master Hero · Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 7:44 am Post subject:

Man. I come home from my pilgrimage, and read this. I feel sorry for you.

I know we're not supposed to post anything religious here, but admin and mods permitting me, I would like to post a prayer from my religion for Mai's father:

"In heaven there is no fear at all. Thou, O Death, art not there, nor in that place does the thought of growing old make one tremble. There, free from hunger and from thirst, and far from the reach of sorrow, all rejoice and are glad."

Mai, I'm sure Yama, the God of Death, has sent your father to Heaven. From what little I have heard of your family, your father sounded like a good man.

He has moved on to a better place, so do not mourn him. Endure this time, and you will have made him happy.
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I CAN HAS 343 GUILTY SPARK?! CAN YOU THROW IN CORTANA TOO?! THANXORZ!!

Alec · Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 8:29 am Post subject:

That was very thoughtful Hero. No, I won't hammer you for offering up a prayer for the departed. It was a very kind thing to do, and I'm sure Mai will appreciate it.
_________________
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it..Friends are like balloons: once you let them go, you can't get them back.

Esperenza Grace · Chieftain Joined: 10 Apr 2008 Posts: 166

Mai, I'm so sorry about your father. If there's anything I can do, just give me a PM.
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"I am a blooming Lilac in the dread valley; beauty in an ugly life, and when the rain comes to bring life to a dead land, my purpose is served, and I fade away, to return when death takes the valley once more."

~Family Saying

Dimitri Chenov · Awesome Contributer Joined: 06 May 2008 Posts: 32

Mai, I would like to express my condolences.
Losing a loved one is never easy. It is hard, and painful, and you will feel the hurt for years.
I feel sorrow at your loss, but don't let it rule you. I made that mistake when I lost my grandfather, and I felt the hurt for over 10 years. In a way, I eventually felt responsible for his death, which of course wasn't true.

It will take years to get over it, but don't allow yourself to feel guilty, okay?

Sorrior · Banned User Joined: 22 Oct 2007 Posts: 466

While i asked the cruel angel to convey my condolences in person i would also like to offer them online i didn't do it before because well you said you'd be off for awhile. But might i say that the world will miss his near lethal sake that i wish i could have tried and that i hope your mother recovers well from the shock and trauma of losing her beloved. sadly i cannot offer any prayers that would be fitting seeing as i don't belong to anyone or really normal faith. But suffice it to say that i hope he is wher his faith makes him the happiest and most content.

Alec · Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 11:06 pm Post subject:

Hero's response inspired me to dig up a prayer from my Cherokee ancestors. I hope it helps you feel better, Mai.

Great Spirit, Great Spirit, My Grandfather,
All over the earth the faces of living things are all alike. . .
Look upon these faces of children without number
And with children in their arms,
That they may face the winds and
Walk the good road to the day of quiet. . .

There is no death. . .
Only a change of worlds. . .
Only a change of worlds.
_________________
Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it..Friends are like balloons: once you let them go, you can't get them back.

MiyanFu848 · High Priest/Priestess Joined: 30 Apr 2008 Posts: 70

Oh no. You must feel really bad. Like, so bad words can't really describe it.

Just know that it's all going to be fine in the end, all right?

Wing of Faith · Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 9:27 am Post subject:

GOD! I AM SUCH AN IDIOT!

I should have logged on sooner. I feel terrible for you Mai-chan. We should talk over PMs.

I swear I will do anything and everything in my power and within my ablities to get you through this, okay?
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Therapists like me get a bad rap even though we're out to help people. That's like calling Captain America a Nazi. It makes no sense. SUPPORT YOUR THERAPISTS!!

Take the Magic: The Gathering 'What Color Are You?' Quiz.

Lovely Mai · Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:01 pm Post subject:

Truly, thank you all for your kind comments and prayers. It made a real difference for me.

I think I'm ready to move past my father's death and move on with my life.
_________________
"It is often stated that we must weigh the potential benefits and risks before we do something perceived as risky. Of course we must, but it is mathematically impossible to solve one equation with two unknowns. In the end, it all comes down to common sense, which varies among all of mankind, and is never foolproof. Let it be no other way, and let us rejoice for those who are brave and boldly step out into an uncertain future and let us pity, comfort, and then gently nudge in the right direction those who lack the bravery or ability to do so by themselves."

~Mary Elizabeth Cameron

Butterfly Spirit · Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 8:08 pm Post subject:

Oh, oh oh oh.

I am so sorry. I have no idea what you must feel, I never truly got to know any of my grandparents before they died. My grandfather was the only one who lived long enough to see me born but he- well, I won't get into it here. I'm just sorry for your loss.
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WATCH THEM LAUGH IN UNISON! LOLZ!